My new applicant we’ll call him Mr. Suzuki.
As soon as we sit down to start the interview Mr. Suzuki ask “When we finish this here, you wanna come take a ride on my bike”
As we’re going through the application, he’s constantly trying to flirt, and i’m ignoring the shit out him until…..
Me: Are you currently paying child support?
Mr. Suzuki: Yea, I’m paying for 2 of my kids.
Me: Oh! 2 of them?! Well how many kids do you have?
Mr. Suzuki: Eleven
ME: Excuse me?! I could’ve sworn you said ELEVEN. How many do you have?
Mr. Suzuki: I have 11 kids.
Me: GET OUT!! You must have a few sets of twins?
Mr. Suzuki: Nah, no twins
Me: Well damn! (by this time, i’ve forgotten all about the rest of the application and have crossed my legs and positioned myself to hear all the dirt).
So please tell me how this works out?
MR. Suzuki: well I my 1st gf she got pregnant when I was 19. We broke up. Then I got married. And my wife she had 4. But while I was married I had a girlfriend. And she had 4 for me. So then me and my wife divorced and the girlfriend didn’t want nothing to do with me. So then I starting dating this other chic we got married when she got pregnant. So that makes…. uh.. 10.. then we split up and my new girlfriend she just had Number 11.
ME: WOW!!!!! So some of your kids are the same age and everything, huh?
Mr. Suzuki:Yep (Sticking out his chest in PRIDE)
ME: You was messing with some dumb ass broads, shoot you’re not even cute!
Mr. Suzuki: Dang… how you just gon tell me that (he’s laughing)
(by this time I’ve finised the application, and we’re walking out)
Me: Because you’re not. You have a good day
Mr. Suzuki: So you not gon take a ride with me?
ME: EWWWW NO!!!! (insert vomit face)