On the phone with a client that I saw this morning. I’d told him I needed his last 2 paycheck stubs and given him a form to have his employer complete if he couldn’t find them.
Dummy: ms. Johnson, I saw you early and I have my last check stub it’s from november.
Me: I thought you were still employed. That’s what you said this morning
D: I am but we’re on holiday break
*sigh* never known a security company to close for holiday break
Me: well I’ll need a statememt from the job saying that you’re still employed but did not receive any income b/c of the holiday break
I hear some talking in the background, then some chicken head gets on the phone.
CH: if he didn’t work he ain’t gon have no checks. This just stupid.
Me: *deep sigh* ms. I’ve told him what I needed.
CH: well he got kids he need to feed. Blah blah blah *I tuned her out and checked twitter and then I heard* dumb ass
Me: excuse me, what did you just say?
CH: you heard me. Ole dumb ass blah blah
*runs a birth match on my clients son, finds mother, accesses her case information*
Me: oh well seeing how you have 4 babies with 4 different last names a 9th grade education and haven’t had a single job THIS year. I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’m not the only dumb ass on the phone
*Phone drops* my client say hello
Me: I’m still here. Now do you understand what I need from you?
Me: okay, soon as you get it in, I’ll finish your case.