Life

Here

image

When I left the blogging world last year things were in such turmoil. I was so hurt, you could have stuck a fork in me. I was absolutely done and out done for that matter. Grief was present and accounted for, it held silent court in my mind and heart, while I physically kept moving. Then when I thought I was “dealing” with griefs place in my life, I discovered serious cracks in the foundation of my marriage and ended a relationship.

Me and pain became ace boon coons.
We rolled together. Hung tough!

But God…

You know, you can look good on the outside and you can fool a lot of people. But you can’t fool God.

God saw my pain and he did nothing. Nothing. He did not rush in to save me. Instead, He waited on me to come to him and allow him to heal me from the inside out.

I was angry and bitter and wanted revenge. I wanted to make people hurt the way that I was hurting. That wouldn’t make me feel better though. It wouldn’t change the past. It wouldn’t create a brighter future for me. So, I forgave. Everyone. I dropped the grudges, and I started to feel better. And when those feelings of rage returned (it was a process) I started from square one and forgave everyone again. There’s a scripture that says you should forgive 7 times 70 (paraphrasing). So that’s what I’ve been doing.

Am I returning to the world of blogging? *shrugs*

But since I’ve been gone, I have grown so much. I seen the hand of God moving in my life in a major way.

I shared with you all that we had been blessed with a son. What I didn’t share, was that our son came on the heels of reconciliation between Ian and I.

I did not share, how even after being blessed to conceive him, carrying him came with surgeries, bed rest, and eventually a premature delivery.

I did not share, that while all these medical issues were taking place, I was in the last 2 semesters of school. I graduated with honors (cum laude) exactly 1 week after I had my son with a bachelors.

Life is funny. God has the craziest sense of humor, I tell ya. I mean who else could orchestrate these things.

Am I back?? For now I am here. I am no longer the Same Ole Patrice… I’ve changed and I am here.

20 thoughts on “Here”

  1. Wow girl… Just wow. A blessing this morning, just to read this. Congrats on your new baby. What a blessing. And what a blessing to see the hand of God move in your life. Thanks for sharing.

    If you don’t wanna blog, don’t. Do you. Take care of you… and the family.

  2. Awww!! This post brought tears to my eyes. I understand the pain you speak of and its a very difficult process. It is also a testimony to God and your Joy today with the incredible ability to forgive repeatedly!!! and reconciliation!!! Amen. Anyhow I am so glad to hear your doing Great!!!

  3. Thanks for sharing the picture of you and your beautiful son, as well as the story behind it. I am happy to hear that things are going so much better for you and I’m wishing you, Ian and your precious son all the best!

  4. My sentiments exactly ^^^
    Thanks for sharing the picture of you and your beautiful son, as well as the story behind it. I am happy to hear that things are going so much better for you and I’m wishing you, Ian and your precious son all the best!

  5. Cancer sista girl I understand! Like others have said your post brought tears to my eyes. Its funny how attached you can become to folks in the blogging world and I was truely sad turn learn how things had changed after I came off of my blogging break. God always brings you through, even if we cant see the lessons and the blessings at the time. Congratulations ten times over!

  6. I’m tearing up ….. but I’m so very happy for you and your family. Your struggles remind me again of the saying “Fear Not the Darkness of the Night, but Believe in the Coming of the Morning.” What an awesome testimony. My prayers will continue to follow you.

  7. Before I even started reading, I saw that picture and it made me smile. *hugs*
    You’re going to be just fine. But you already know that.

  8. Welcome back!! Your son is soooo cute! I am sorry to hear about all that you’ve gone through but I am glad that you shared your testimony. I have been dealing with some things myself and am waiting to get my release, I’m glad you got yours!

  9. God bless you and that handsome prince. May he keep you on your toes,lol. Congratulations on your many successes and battles fought and won.

  10. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. How precious he is, you sound like you have learned a lot♥ Many continued blessing are coming your way

  11. Oh my, your last two posts just filled my heart with joy. Thank you so much for sharing your blessings with us baby girl 🙂

    And that little man of yours is toooooooooo cute!!!!!! xs

  12. I know this post is A Lot Late, but this HELPED me a lot when I saw this in August and I needed to be uplifted and read it again today. Congrats on your new baby, the renewed relationship, and the new relationship with GOD. Welcome Back.!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s